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How to move out of your parents’ house (again)

Following some basic tips can help make the process less stressful for you and your family.

Over the past year, many people who thought they were out of their childhood bedrooms for good have found themselves moving back in with their parents. Financial resources were scarce due to job losses, pay cuts, and low business activities. Moving into a place where rent was lower or non-existent, and it was easier to socially distance while still being able to see family during a time of uncertainty, made sense.

Now, however, more and more people are being vaccinated, some offices are opening up, and many are ready to move back out of their parents’ house. However, moving out can be a hard step to take—even when you’re doing it for the second time. Following some basic tips can help make the process less stressful for you and your family.

Assess Your Finances

If you’re planning to move out, you must make sure you’re in a financial position to do so. Your situation may have changed since you last lived on your own and you might have fewer resources due to the economic strife and uncertainty of the last year. Your parents may no longer be able to serve as your safety net. 

As you likely haven’t dealt with renting in a while, keep in mind that landlords usually require a security deposit along with a month or two’s rent before you can sign a lease. If you are using a broker, you may also pay brokerage fees. Before you look for a new place, you need to have those funds ready.

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Budgeting is an essential part of understanding what your finances look like and, if necessary, where you can improve them. Your income, which is usually fixed, will determine where you can afford to live and your lifestyle there. You can split the money you will spend each month into fixed and variable expenses. Fixed expenses are the same every month and cannot be easily changed, such as your rent, insurance, utilities, and so on. Variable expenses, like your grocery bill, clothing costs, and entertainment expenses, vary depending on your behavior.

As a general rule, you should have several months’ expenses worth of savings or emergency funds. As you plan your move, start with at least two months’ expenses in savings, and increase from there.

Have “The Talk”

Moving out is a sign of maturity and growth, which is inevitable, so prepare yourself and your parents for it. Before you approach them, make sure you fully prepare for the move so you can explain the details in the coming conversations. Demonstrating your preparation will ease their anxiety. You can also ask for their advice. 

Maybe your parents are sad you’re leaving; perhaps they can’t wait to see you go so they can get their space back and return to the lifestyle they had when you weren’t living with them. Either way, you want to be on the same page. Keep in mind that, although you may have had a version of this conversation the first time you moved out, the last year has changed many people’s priorities and perspectives and it may be different than the last time you discussed it.

Figure Out Where You’re Moving To

Perhaps you have a new job, are returning to your college campus, pursuing a dream, or need a change of scenery—whatever the reason, you need to be knowledgeable about your new location. Match your needs with your potential new home so that you won’t have to waste time and resources by having to move again. Consider factors like jobs available in the area, demographics (older, younger, primarily single, mostly coupled, and so on), and whether you’ll be able to deal with the weather in the area.

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Know How You’ll Handle Necessities

When you moved back home, it’s possible you were forced to get rid of necessities like furniture and kitchen supplies. If you have to buy these items, consider second-hand items to reduce your costs. These will likely make up part of “The Talk,” so be sure your ducks are in a row.

If living with your parents has also led you to be out of practice with adult basics, re-familiarize yourself with independent living by gathering essential information about your new location that you might need in the future, such as:

  • Grocery stores in the area
  • Where you can get local tech help
  • Nearest hospital or doctors’ office
  • Nearest veterinarian, if you have a pet

Move Smart 

There is security at your parent’s home. Moving out may be challenging for both you and your parents and lead you to feel a lot of uncertainty. This stress is unavoidable to a certain extent, but you can reduce it by preparing for known and unknown eventualities. Don’t forget to consult your parents on the move and to thank them for the hospitality.


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